The decision to seek counseling may depend on the answer to the
question:
"Can people really change?"
Some may answer "No, not substantially." But like the lotus in the picture above, great beauty can flower from a muddy bottom. I believe we are here precisely to grow, and by not changing we become stagnant, possibly depressed and at risk of blaming others for our being stuck. To start to change, we must have the intention to embrace all of ourselves with our dark places as well as our strengths. "What we resist, persists," but from a place of acceptance we can become whole.
About me
My life has been one of discovery. My careers have spanned the
gamut of ice-skating instructor, English teacher, psychiatric
nurse, yoga instructor and currently Counselor. In the process
of striving to overcome my unique challenges, I have explored
counseling, physical yoga, yoga philosophy, meditation, polarity
therapy, reiki and of course graduate school, numerous workshops
and exhaustive reading. The most powerful healer for me, has
been meditation. I have found, sitting with myself and
confronting inner angst is truly transformative. Therefore, much
of my approach may involve mindfulness techniques, depending on
a client's readiness.
My undergraduate B.A. degree is from Colby College in English,
R.N. from Excelsior College, and a Graduate Counseling degree
from Southern Connecticut State University. Professional
affiliations are with American Counseling Association and
Connecticut Counseling Association. My internships were in adult
counseling and substance abuse. I accumulated many years of
experience working as an R.N. in Psychiatric units of hospitals
such as Silver Hill, St. Vincent's (formerly Hall-Brooke
Hospital) and Griffin Hospital as well as home care psychiatric
visits.
While I have often embraced growth and change with excitement,
many, especially as they become older develop a rigidity. I
remember as a young person while working on a psychiatric unit,
I was impressed with some techniques for improving communication
gleaned from group therapy. I thought it would be a great idea
to bring home some of them for testing. My father promptly
informed me that the only one with a problem in the house was
me. He was comfortable with the status quo of secrets and
unspoken tensions. Opening up about feelings was a great threat
to him and he kept his under wraps for most of his life. This
decision effectively sealed him off from true intimacy with
others. He was a wonderful person in many ways but speaking
about feelings was definitely verboten.
Needless to say, my career has been about the opposite of that.
I experience joy when others are able to unburden themselves of
guilt, shame or just sharing being themselves without judgement.
Deep down, we share many of the same struggles, though the outer
forms may differ.
Services
Counseling for young adults, adults, and elders for a full spectrum of concerns such as:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Grief
- Self-actualization
- Life transitions
- Relationships
- Trauma and PTSD
- Anger Management
- Eating Disorders
- Self-esteem issues
- Substance Sobriety
- Couples Counseling
- Family Conflict
- Self Exploration Including Through Spiritual Growth
Approach
By listening deeply to each client before me, I strive to be
fully present without preconceptions. By listening with an open
heart to each person's struggles, I pull from a lifetime of
experience. Assessing which approaches may begin a particular
client's process of mitigating suffering may result in
collaborating to start with a behavioral assignment, a cognitive
restructuring process, dialoging with internal parts to release
deeply held pain, or simply offering compassionate presence. The
unique interaction between each individual and myself will yield
different proscriptive approaches each time,
I definitely do not use a one size fits all approach.
Since healing often comes from a place of deep inner peace,
behavioral homework may involve forms of meditation or
relaxation to enhance systemic de-stressing.
For the client's part, awareness that change takes
effort, is of paramount importance. Whatever a person's
configuration of functioning, it can usually only be changed,
like building a wall or taking down a wall, brick by brick.
That's why my practice is called Stages of Change. Each person's
readiness to change and ability to apply focused, persistent
effort unfolds at their own pace. As a wonderful teacher of mine
said, "A therapist has maps but the client has to sit in the
driver's seat and put their foot on the gas."
Albert Ellis used to have clients put a banana on a leash and
pull it down a crowded New York street to inoculate clients to
what others' thought of them! While few would relish a
behavioral assignment like that, observation of the flow of
one's thoughts, courage to feel difficult feelings or journaling
may help one know oneself at a deeper level. Surprising oneself
with new capabilities built by taking risks can be deeply
empowering.
Commitment
When I take on a client, I strive to be there for them fully. I believe in Edgar Cayce's philosophy that "We rise to heaven leaning on the arm of a brother we have helped." I hope to attract clients that are also committed to their own healing process. This involves showing up for sessions on time and consistently, working on assignments at their own rate, to the best of their abilities. I work to help the client develop more peace within themselves. I believe the relationship within oneself is primary and causative to everything that happens without. I also work collaboratively, welcoming feedback from clients about their process so that we can work together to confront obstacles to change. The lotus flower above represents great beauty and actualization flowering from roots which start their growth in a muddy bottom.
